I’m out of town for a few days enjoying life in Arizona with my mom, grandma and Story!  While I’m gone I’ve asked some friends to share with you!  I love all these ladies and am honored to have them on my blog while I’m gone.  Enjoy their words and share them with your friends.  I know you’ll be blessed by all they have to say!  Leave them a comment thanking them for sharing their lives with you!

It’s true what they say about grief being like an ocean. Sometimes the tide grabs hold of you with brutal strength and pulls you under. It tosses you about. A ragdoll in the swirling depths. Sometimes the force pulls so tightly that you just want to give in to it…to just let go and let it destroy you. The fight feels too hard and you feel too weak. I understand the panic that David felt as he penned “Answer me quickly, O Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.” (Psalm 143:7) There are days that the grief consumes all else. There is nothing but sorrow–no light, only darkness. “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from You presence….if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.” (Psalm 139:7-8) Even in the depths–on the days where the bitterness and pain are my residence–He is still there. I cannot flee from Him. The pain is not too big for Him.

Grief is the loneliest place. When I’m sinking farther into the depths of the Grief Ocean I feel alone in so many ways. But every time I open my eyes, I see past the turmoil, and I see Him there–my Rescuer. The One who is close to me–the brokenhearted; the one who is crushed in spirit. He is there. And He rescues with His iron grip. He pulls me to safety. He pulls me into soundness of mind. He pulls me to the peaceful shore.

The Grief Ocean is an ironic place. In its depths it will destroy. The waves and breakers threaten to drown their victims. But on the shores, the waters bring peace and quiet to the soul. The waves lap against the shore in rhythm. Like a lullaby. What seemed so dangerous now brings peace. And a beauty is discovered as one looks out upon the Ocean. The magnitude of it all whispers awe into the quiet places inside you. The bruises on your heart & soul from being tossed about in the depths are so fresh and painful. But so much bigger than that, is the reminder of what it felt like to be rescued. The iron grip of the Rescuer cannot be forgotten.

Just like the waves that creep to the shore–just to be pulled back into the turbulent seas, the process of grief is a cycle. Some days I find myself wading ankle deep….eyes still taking in the beauty of the Ocean about me. Other days I stumble and plunge into the depths. But I am never alone. He is here with me–every step of the way He is here.

“If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.” (Psalm 139:11-12)
(March 2, 2011)
…….

I wrote these words two months after my sweet Mama went home to be with Jesus after a 5 year battle with cancer.  And now here I sit…hours, days, months later, still tearing up as I read these words because that pain in those words–that is still my pain.  That is still the raw edge of my heart that is so tender to the touch.  Has life moved on?  Yes.  Has the every-moment sting eased?  Yes.  Has God healed me in ways I never imagined possible?  Absolutely.  But the hurt and the confusion and the pain still lingers some days.  Maybe it always will.  That’s the hardest part about grief—the cycle of it—how it comes and goes all the time, like the tides of an ocean.

The last six years of my life have just been hard.  I know that you don’t know me, and I wish I could unzip my heart in front of you & show you that as I say that, I’m not trying to complain.  It’s just where I am.  Life is full of different seasons…it just so happens I’ve been in a season of sorrow for a very long time. I could give you a laundry list of what I’ve walked through, but really that doesn’t matter, and frankly some of it is still very fresh and hard to even capture in words.

So what are we supposed to do with this Grief Ocean?  When life does not turn out how you thought it would, is God still good?  When you look around and realize that you’ve descended into the valley of the shadow of death, is God still faithful?  Is He still there?  When Sorrow and Grief have become your constant companions (side note: Go read Hinds Feet in High Places right now…just trust me on that one!) and pain has cloaked you in its depths, where are you supposed to turn?  It may not be the loss of someone you love—it may be the loss of your husband’s job, a rebellious child who has run “far from home”, a miscarriage or failed adoption, a fractured marriage.  Pain and grief come in many shapes and sizes and every person processes them differently.

I really don’t have all the answers.  But years ago, I made a vow to be an honest person.  I was so tired of seeing people act like they were ok when their messy life was just shoved behind their front door.  I don’t want to be that person.  I want to be someone who is genuine and real.  So here is the real truth:  Life hurts.  The closer you get to Jesus, the closer up you get to suffering.  The Christian life is not an easy life–it is a life where we identify in the sufferings of Christ.  But Romans 8 reminds us that those who share in His sufferings will also one day share in His glory (Romans 8:17).  Wow.  Hope is not dead friends–in spite of pain, hope lives on.  I want to walk through a Psalm with you today that has come alive in my life, and just share a few practical ways that we can move forward when sorrow covers.  Take a minute to read these poignant words penned by King David in Psalm 116:

1] I love the LORD, for he heard my voice;
He heard my cry for mercy.
2] Because He turned His ear to me,
I will call on Him as long as I live.

3] The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
4] Then I called on the name of the LORD:
“O LORD, save me!”

5] The LORD is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
6] The LORD protects the simple-hearted;
when I was in great need, He saved me.

7] Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the LORD has been good to you.

8] For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
9] that I may walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.
10] I believed; therefore I said,
“I am greatly afflicted.”
11] And in my dismay I said,
“All men are liars.”

12] How can I repay the LORD
for all His goodness to me?
13] I will lift up the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.
14] I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all His people.

15] Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of His saints.
16] O LORD, truly I am your servant;
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant;
you have freed me from my chains.

17] I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
and call on the name of the LORD.
18] I will fulfill my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all His people,
19] in the courts of the house of the LORD—
in your midst, O Jerusalem.

Praise the LORD

I have turned to these words many times over the last year.  I love how David was just so human—his words are always full of longing and question and ultimately trust in the goodness of the Lord.  I see several action steps in this Psalm that seem so practical, and for me, often become a really good place to start.  So….when sorrow, pain and grief begin to cover:
•    Cry out to the Lord for mercy every day—He will listen to your cry (v.1-2)
•    When overcome, call on the name of the Lord—there is power in His name to save (v.3-4)
•    Recount His attributes and character—speak truth to yourself…cling to WHO God is! (v.5-6)
•    Allow your soul to find rest in God—rest in His goodness to you and breathe (v. 7-11)
•    Lift up the cup of salvation—preach the Gospel to yourself daily…hold high your salvation and the grace gift that it is (v.12-13)
•    Fulfill your vows to the Lord—continue to love and serve Him…stay connected to the Body of Christ and your responsibilities to Her. (v.14)
•    Find freedom in Christ—do not be chained to grief…allow Christ to bring freedom (v. 15-16)  See also Psalm 107
•    Sacrifice a thank offering to God—let thanksgiving and praise be continually on your lips (v. 17-19)

My name is Rachel Setliffe.  I’ve been married to my best friend, Matt, for almost ten years and we have two sweet girls, Ava–our 6 year old bio daughter, and Jane–3 years old and adopted from Ethiopia in 2010.  My husband & I have been serving in ministry together for lots of years, and are now following God’s leading to plant a church in Glasgow, Scotland in 2013.  I love my little life and so thankful for a God who pours out mercy & grace on me every day!

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I’m out of town for a few days enjoying life in Arizona with my mom, grandma and Story!  While I’m gone I’ve asked some friends to share with you!  I love all these ladies and am honored to have them on my blog while I’m gone.  Enjoy their words and share them with your friends.  I know you’ll be blessed by all they have to say!  Leave them a comment thanking them for sharing their lives with you!

When I saw Jamie’s topic suggestion for this post I almost died with excitement: how can married women can serve single women better?
Uh. I’m sorry, did you just say: Fabs, can you write a blog post about how your life is so hard and how you’re constantly misunderstood? Why, yes. Yes, Jamie I can.
So, (cracking knuckles), here are the top four things I wish all married women knew about loving single women, (and if you’re only going to read one, skip to number four cause it’s the only one that really matters).

#1: Know when to be silent.

I get it. Married life is hard, being a mom is impossible, and if you have to listen to one more single woman complain about another Friday night with the freedom to do anything in the world you will stab yourself in the face. I get that. It makes me want to stab myself in the face and I’m the one talking!
But let me tell you, on the flip side, listening to a married woman complain about having sex or the burden of having another person always there or the irritation of having kids can feel the same way.
Here’s my suggestion: maybe we could all just learn to be compassionate to one anothers struggles instead of comparing; instead of seizing the opportunity for a ‘suffering-off’ we could just listen and love.
Sometimes, it’s okay to just say – yeah. That’s hard, even if you think it sounds like a walk in the park. Life doesn’t have to be hard on paper to be hard experientially. And you can weep with those who weep whether they’re crying over a broken nail or a broken life.

#2: Know when to speak.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your single pals is transparency about your life. Honor your marriage. Don’t gossip about your spouse, but don’t perpetuate the myth that life after you get married is all sweetness and light. If you invite single women into real authentic community then they will inevitably hear firsthand that life is hard – no matter what season you are in.

#3: Know what not to speak.

Here are some of my favorites to avoid:
• You’ll get married when you’re most content. Oops. I don’t know that I believe that all the folks who’ve mastered contentment are married and all those of us who struggle with discontentment are single.
• I was single too, I know what it’s like. Hmmm…singleness at 30 is not the same at singleness at 20 anymore than singleness at 40 is the same as singleness at 70. Sure, we have all battled with the pain and loneliness of a life alone at some point, but that doesn’t mean you know what it’s like to watch the birthday’s come and go and watch your friend’s become married and learn what it’s like to live your life as everyone’s second choice. So there. (pity party invites are in the mail).
• I don’t know why you’re single. Accidental message: singleness is explainable when there’s some huge flaw, and maybe it is. Maybe I am single because I love Dawson’s Creek. It’s entirely possible, but I’m supposed to think about what is actually true, not what might be true, so try telling me instead that I’m single because it’s God’s best for His glory and my joy, (even if He is using my obsession with Pacey as a means of keeping me unattached).

• Any language or expectation that communicates marriage as a guarantee. There are a lot of confused women out here. We’re confused because our parents started talking about our marriage like it was a guarantee when we were still in our cribs. So, we followed their lead and we planned our lives like marriage was a guarantee. And then when it turned out not to happen we were baffled.

Marriage is a great thing to want for your kids. But it’s also not the mark of success in their life, and it’s not the plan that God has promised them or you. Set them up to dream big, trust God to write their story and look with eager anticipation to see what He has planned.

#4: Know what to speak.

Here’s my best advice: treat single woman the same way you treat everyone else. Be real and raw and genuine and authentic. We’re all just people. We’re all a mess. We all suffer. I don’t need to have kids to know what real love is any more than you need to be single to know what loneliness tastes like.
I am a child of God, and if you are too then we have everything in common. Five out of my six closest friends are married. They never go through the ‘checklist’ of the rules for engaging with single women before they talk to me. I’m just their friend. When I have a hard day, they gospel me through it regardless of whether it plays out in a struggle with singleness or a struggle with work. And I do the same for them. There are no places in our lives off-limits. I don’t need them to be single to speak into my singleness and they don’t need me to be married to speak into their marriage.
If you’re a mom who needs someone to be in the same stage of life as you in order to qualify them to speak into your circumstances, you’re in trouble. Because I happen to know a 33-year old single man who wants to have Lordship over every area of your life. (Jesus, btw).
My friendships are built on a mutual respect that has nothing to do with shared experience of a stage of life. It has to do with a shared experience of Jesus.
Love your single friends well by treating them like you treat everyone else. Forget the rest of the rules. Don’t over think it. Don’t be afraid to stay silent. Don’t be afraid to speak.
Just love ‘em, and if you ever master that step you can move on, but in my experience, loving people well isn’t just the starting point, it’s the whole point.

I love Jesus. and I love the Church. I work for the get Trained ministry at The Austin Stone Community Church, and what that means is I get to write and teach women about Jesus for a living.  I have a blog to share what I’m learning about the hearts of women, being in ministry and just being a Christian, (the last of these being the most challenging most days).  Check it out at www.fabsharford.com

 

 

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I’m out of town for a few days enjoying life in Arizona with my mom, grandma and Story!  While I’m gone I’ve asked some friends to share with you!  I love all these ladies and am honored to have them on my blog while I’m gone.  Enjoy their words and share them with your friends.  I know you’ll be blessed by all they have to say!  Leave them a comment thanking them for sharing their lives with you!

Recently, my dad brought over a box of children’s books that had been collecting dust for…oh, I don’t know…20 years?  As I was sorting through them, I came across two books of poetry that my sister, McKenna, and I had made for Judy, my stepmom, for Mother’s Day 1992.  It contains some pure talent, I assure you.  But I think our limericks were real standouts:

As a follow-up to the concerns that we presented in ’92, I do now have a sufficient supply of underwear.  And to date, Bailey, our oldest sister, has not been sold.

Nevertheless, it got me thinking about Mother’s Day.

This Sunday, I will celebrate my third Mother’s Day.  If I had my dream day, I would wake up around 9 AM to a waft of a home cooked breakfast being delivered to me in bed.  I would enjoy said breakfast, take a shower, get ready for the day.  Maybe grab a massage, a glass of wine, a People magazine, a pedicure, a chicken salad sandwich on sourdough with jalapeno chips, a trip to Anthropologie, a new pair of earrings or a scarf.  And I would end the day with reality television and some combination of chocolate and peanut butter.

Please note I made no mention of my husband or children in my dream Mother’s Day.  Make no mistake.  I am wildly in love with my husband and my kids are the most precious gifts that I have ever been given.  But in my fantasy, I am alone.

I say this because there are days that I wonder if I am the right person for this job.  If my fantasy of Mother’s Day involves none of the little people who I mother, was this whole parenting thing too much for me?  If the best part of my day is when my husband gets home and I can hand a kid or two over, am I the wrong person for these boys?

And the answer to all of those questions and fears is no.  An emphatic NO.  This gift of parenthood was planned for me before the foundation of the world.  And it, along with every other circumstance in my life is meant FOR me.  And I know this may sound extreme, but because I believe God is completely sovereign over everything, I believe that every temper tantrum, every dirty diaper, every middle-of-the-night interruption is planned by God and for my good.  My kids, their best parts and their worst parts, are gifts for me and for my perseverance.

My faith in that truth is being put to the test all the time. At this very moment, my two-year-old is in his room, screaming bloody murder because he doesn’t want to take a nap.  How in the world is this for my good?  I have no idea.  But the Bible says it is.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8.28)

If I really believed that…if you really believed that…wouldn’t it revolutionize our lives?  If every time we got bad news of a layoff or a death, we believed that this was a circumstance designed by God for our good.  When someone cuts us off in traffic, we believed that it was planned by God for our perseverance.  When we get our heart broken, our credit card stolen, a pet dies, cancer, fire…when all these things happen, we believed that they were planned by the Creator and designed specifically for our good.  What if we really lived like that?  If we really believed that all of our circumstances were for our good and we started to use our circumstances for the glory of God?  How would your life look differently?

I can tell you that you wouldn’t recognize me if I lived like I truly believed that because it would change me so deeply.  Parenting, specifically, has been the most challenging circumstance of my life (and to be fair, I have very easy kids).  It is really tempting for me to look at my worst days and wish that they were different – that my children would sleep longer or fuss less or eat better or play by themselves better.  But, I am praying that God would change my heart about that circumstance, and every other circumstance in my life.  That I would start to believe that God is good, and in complete control and wants good things for me and that only this day, this way is going to get me there.  Only these exact circumstances are going to persevere me to the end.  Otherwise, He would have done it differently.

What about you?  Do you believe that your circumstances were designed by God for your good?  In what ways is that challenging for you?  Or do you feel like this is an area of strength for you?

If you are a mom this Mother’s Day, I pray that you rest in knowing that your role to mother your children is for you alone.   No one in the world is better suited to mother your children, or God would have done it differently. He chose you, not just because of your strengths but also because of your weaknesses. He chose you as your kids’ best chance to persevere, your kids’ best chance to know Jesus.  He chose YOU.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Amanda Brown lives in Austin, TX with her husband, Doug, and their two sons, Rhett and Abel. She’s a stay-at-home mom, wrangling children and knocking things off her to-do list and bucket list.  Some bucket list items include qualifying for the Boston Marathon, completing a children’s book, and seeing her sons grow in godliness.  In the shorter term, she would like to qualify for a free Papa Murphy’s pizza (one stamp left!), get the laundry from the dryer to the closet, and see at least one son achieve bladder control.  You can keep up with her at their family blog -ON BEING BROWNS.

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 I’m out of town for a few days enjoying life in Arizona with my mom, grandma and Story!  While I’m gone I’ve asked some friends to share with you!  I love all these ladies and am honored to have them on my blog while I’m gone.  Enjoy their words and share them with your friends.  I know you’ll be blessed by all they have to say!  Leave them a comment thanking them for sharing their lives with you!

Before we get into the depths of my ramblings here, I would like to take a moment and give a disclaimer that I have only been fostering for 5 months, but what a 5 months it has been. I have learned lots but I certainly have not learned it all.

A few years back while I was getting my finances in order and getting licensed for foster care, I had the opportunity to personally spend some time with Dr. Karyn Purvis, author of the awesome, must read book, The Connected Child. I was excited to pick her brain and of course I was excited to tell her that I was getting licensed for foster care.  Once those words left my lips, Karyn gently turned and put her hands on my shoulders and looked me directly in the eyes.  She said, “You had better be called!” I was taken aback by her response.  I thought she of all people would be excited that I was headed down this road. She looked at me again and said, “Are you sure? You had better make sure, or you won’t make it.”

I think about this question often when people tell me they want to foster or adopt. Dr. Purvis was certainly right!! I currently have 2 foster boys, one is 11 and the other is 14.  They are half brothers and are certainly handsome! These past 5 months have been the hardest thing that I have ever gone through.  I wish I could tell you that the hard part is over and that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that we are a happy family, well adjusted and grateful for what God is doing in our lives, but that is a lie.  There are many days, many more than I care to admit, where I am done. I want to throw in the towel and call it quits. I fantasize about my life before I had the boys.  I want so badly to go back there. But then I am reminded that I love because He first loved me.  He has called me to this.

As excited as I was to do this, this is not how I pictured it all going down. So much yelling, so many objects being thrown, and I can’t tell you the amount of times I have heard, “I hate you, get out of my life.” Every child is different, every family is different – but adopting or fostering a child is hard. It is not for the faint of heart. Please make sure that you are not doing this to fill a void in your own life, because this is not about you. Parenting never is. Not just for your sake, but for the sake of the child.  The last thing they need is to fail or be given up on in another home.  My 11 year screams “Why don’t you just kick me out then?” at me all the time. He is ready for someone to bail on him because that has been the story of his life.  And trust me, there are days I want to, but I can’t because all I can picture is my Savior and how he as never left me.

So if you want to foster or adopt, especially older children (which is a huge need and a great picture of the gospel), take time to prepare and be sure.  Spend lots of time praying and seeking counsel from your community.  If you want to test the waters, babysit for a friend who has foster kids.  Do it for more than a couple of hours – try a weekend. This is super helpful to them and will start giving you an idea of what life could be like.  Also, make sure you have support built in. Get your community involved.  I could not do this without all the support I am getting (people cleaning my house, providing meals, surprising me with Sonic, watching the boys for free, etc). I am not trying to discourage you, this is a HUGE need. I just don’t want you to think that it is going to be all cute and fun – like every adoption montage I have seen.  I think there is a level of pain that not many others can empathize with so you will need help. And if you still feel God calling you and you see Him working it out for you, do it! Because as hard as it is, there is also joy in the trial and you will know and experience our God in so many new ways.

Becca is a 30 year old, single foster mom. She currently has 2 foster boys ages 14 and 11. She is a native Texan, but God took her to his second favorite state, Colorado for her high school years. He has since brought her back to Texas where she worked at Pine Cove Camps before coming on staff as a children’s minister at The Austin Stone. Becca is known not only for her love of theology and kiddos, but is also known to cause fun and lots of mischief along the way.

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I’m out of town for a few days enjoying life in Arizona with my mom, grandma and Story!  While I’m gone I’ve asked some friends to share with you!  I love all these ladies and am honored to have them on my blog while I’m gone.  Enjoy their words and share them with your friends.  I know you’ll be blessed by all they have to say!  Leave them a comment thanking them for sharing their lives with you!

Living In A loud World: Our son and Sensory Processing Disorder.

It kind of all sounded like this in the beginning:

why doesn’t he smile yet?

why isn’t he laughing yet?

why isn’t he crawling like the rest his age?

why isn’t he walking yet?

Then as he got older is sounded like:

cash, don’t put that in your mouth!

cash, don’t run away from me when I’m calling you, it’s not safe!

cash, don’t touch strangers!

cash, don’t lick strangers!

sorry sir, my son did not mean to bury his head in your lap…

Cash came into this world with a vengeance. It was a tough labor, I was not medicated, had to be transferred to the emergency room where a doctor put a big ole’ suction cup on his head to pull him out (I would find out later that a stressful labor is one cause of SPD). He was a gorgeous, sweet, snuggly baby and I was head over heals in love with this little guy. He was our first so we never thought much of his lack of smiles and giggles, until I had him around other kids his age. Our Dr. was gracious and never dropped the “Autistic” card when my concerns arised as Cash was always on the cusp of the red flags for autism. It wasn’t until he was in a local mothers day out, that I was brought into the directors office and advised to get him some extra help. He just was not on parr with other kids his age and they were concerned. So, we started seeing specialists and got him into speech and occupational therapy. He started thriving and I started seeing how very little I knew about his world. It took months to get an appointment with a Neurologist, but when we did we finally got the diagnosis’ that were the missing pieces to our puzzle.

Cash was diagnosed with:

- PDD-NOS

-  Sensory Processing Disorder

-  Hypotonia

-  Speech Dysfunction

-  Possible Auditory Dysfunction

That all sounds like another language, but basically what it means is, that he is on the Autistic Spectrum, he has low muscle tone and tires easily, sometimes his brain would not tell his ears to listen, his speech was delayed, and his world was too loud and overwhelming.

That is what I really want to touch on: Sensory Processing Disorder and just how confusing and frustrating it can be for us as parents. And for our kids, how loud and overwhelming this world can be.

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) can be defined as a practical inability to use information received through the senses so as to function smoothly and normally in everyday life. SPD is not a single specific disorder but rather an umbrella term that covers a variety of neurological disabilities.

Some examples of what this might look like in our kids are:

Sensory Modulation Problems: The child reacts with fight or flight to unexpected touch, intense light, getting dirty, or certain textures of food or clothing (over-responsive); the child is unaware of messy face, hands, or clothes (under-responsive); the child wallows in mud or chews on inedible substances (sensory-seeking).

Sensory Discrimination Problems: The child cannot tell where on his body he has been touched; cannot feel himself falling, especially when his eyes are closed; appears clumsy and seems unable to gauge the appropriate amount of force needed to handle pencils or toys; cannot tell the difference between distinct smells such as lemons, vinegar, and soap.

Sensory-Based Motor Problems: The child is either tense or has “loose and floppy” muscle tone; loses balance easily or “trips on air;” has difficulty using both sides of the body when jumping, clapping, swinging, or pouring water into a cup; has difficulty with manual tasks such as drawing, writing, buttoning, doing jigsaw puzzles, or using eating utensils; shows signs of low self-esteem.

Cash struggled with most of these things on a daily basis. When not informed on his world, I would get easily frustrated and sometimes embarrassed by his actions. One day his therapist described his disorder as this: “Noelle, pay attention for a moment to all the sounds and movements happening in this room right now. You and I are able to tune them out and focus on this conversation we are having. Cash, is unable to do that. His little brain and body tunes into everything. Every foot step, every pen writing on paper, the wind blowing, the birds chirping, the child crying down the hallway”.  It was in that moment that I began to understand that his world was loud, even screaming at him sometimes.

But, with all this, we are blessed with an abundance of knowledge and information. There is a wonderful website, www.sinetwork.org,  that is dedicated to informing people about SPD. And as parents to adoptive kids, we have Karyn Purvis, who goes into great detail about SPD and kids from hard places. Her video series on it in amazing.

On my blog TO BRING THEM HOME I have a page where I list every resource, sensory toy and therapies we use in our life for Cash and why, including all the iPad apps we have and what they are good for as it relates to Special Needs.

Cash is doing amazing. He was diagnosed right before he turned three and shortly after he started therapy he spoke his first audible sentence! He is now 6 and in an amazing school for children with learning and speech delays. He is excelling, making friends, learning how to read, write and is in an environment where he is fully understood and loved.

We are our kids only advocates and I believe that God asks us to fight for them, break down barriers if we have to. He knitted them perfectly together in the womb. I know sometimes as parents it might be hard to see that, but His purpose for them is greater than we can ever imagine.

Noelle Otts lives in Austin Tx with her husband Brad and their 2 kids Cash (6) and Maddie-Rose (3).  They are currently in the process of bringing home their 7-year-old son from Ethiopia.  Noelle blogs about her life and their current adoption wait at her blog TO BRING THEM HOME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What we have here are two eggs perfectly fried where the yoke is still runny when you cut into it.  Then I lay those on a great bunch of greens, and actually eat a salad for breakfast!  To finish it off I add veggie cheese & hot sauce.  Y’all this is heaven on a plate, especially when you cut into the eggs and the yoke runs and basically is your dressing for your salad.

This picture captures a perfect morning for me.  My perfect breakfast.  Fresh coffee.  Bible & journal ready to read Romans.

This perfect morning was a few days ago, and it turned quickly to a bad morning.  I took this picture to email Aaron and show him my great morning.  Then I cut my eggs and walked outside to talk to a neighbor.  You might see where this is going …. my DANG DOG jumped up on the chair and practically devoured my breakfast in one gulp.  Eggs were all over my bible and forever I will think of my missing breakfast when I read Romans 2.

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I declared that knowing theology wasn’t really my thing.  I knew what I needed to know:  God loves me.  God pursued me.  Jesus died for me.  I trust him.  I believe him.  I love him.  I want to model my life like him.  He changed me.  He’s coming back for me.  I’ll be with him forever.  That was all I needed to know.  Anything else was too much information for this mom’s brain and honestly really only people like Matt Carter & Halim Suh need to know these things.  I’ll just believe whatever they tell me.

Oh my goodness, are you cringing on the inside too.  Can’t you just hear me saying these things.  I’m glad to tell you that I do know just a tad bit more than I did 9 months ago, but for sure I have 100% more desire to know more than I have known before.

A few months ago I was faced with the reality of why I need to know things that are in the bible, and why I need to be able to articulate them.  Not only do I need to know things so that I’m able to discern false teaching, and so that I’m able to articulate the bible & gospel to friends that don’t know Jesus, but I have four disciples that are under my teaching every single day.  My kids have been entrusted to me and they have more questions each day than I’d ever imagine could enter one human beings brain in a lifetime.  Most of them are about which super hero is better, or how we can ride a star, or if I could be any vegetable what would it be, but lots are about God and how he plays in their life.

Previous to my discovery of yearning and needing to know more I would always pass of Cayden’s questions to his dad.  I would tell him to ask his Dad when he got home, because you know your dad is a pastor and ordained and guess what, he even has a degree in Christianity (whatever that means!).  He’s much smarter at this stuff than mommy is.  If you want to know sports stuff, you ask mommy and if you want to know why God allows bad things to happen to good people, then you ask your dad.

I was missing my calling right in front of my eyes.  My disciples.  My pupils.  My babies are asking me to teach them and I’m waiting until their daddy gets home.

These past few months have opened my eyes up to the truth that I’ve been entrusted with knowledge that is not just for me to hoard and keep to myself, but it is for me to pass on to my children.  When Story asks me who is stronger, God or Satan, I know exactly what to say, although just so you don’t think even worse of me, I could have answered this one before!  (2 Peter 2:4)  When Cayden asks why God would let a little kid die, I know exactly what to say.  I get to tell him that God is in charge of everything, and does everything to bring him glory, even when we don’t understand. (Romans 8:28)  When Amos one day asks me why his mom couldn’t take care of him, I can lead him to God’s word where we learn that God uses everything in this world to bring good, even death, disease, starvation, and orphans. (Gen 50:20)  When their friends Grandpa dies of a sudden heart attack I get to pray with my kids and thank God that he’s in charge even when things seem bad to us.  (Psalm 139:16)  When Cayden asks if God knows if he will follow him or not, I get to tell him that yes God chooses all those that will follow him and he already knows if he will or not.  (2 Thes 2:13)  When Deacon asks why God allowed that tornado to kill all those people I can tell him that I am sad that those people died, but I trust that God uses all things to bring him glory, and is the author of all things as well.  (Daniel 4:35)

Moms we are teachers every single day.  Every conversation about Jesus is teaching our children to love and trust the character of God and we can be the ones that point them to God’s word and to Jesus.  I’m embarrassed of my feelings about theology 9 months ago, but encouraged by my growth and conversations that I get to have with my kids about God’s character and just how much he stinking loves them and all of us!

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What do I hold on to the most in my life in complete and utter fear of giving it over to God?  What do you hold on to?  Jennie Allen recently released a book called ANYTHING and in it she shares how one simple prayer changed her life and how it can change ours as well.  One night on the floor of her bathroom she prayed this prayer …. “From this point on things are changing.  I am living for the moment when I will face you.  I want to get to heaven out of breath, having willingly done anything that you – God of the universe – asks … anything.”

I read this book and felt short of breath through most of it.  I felt what Jennie was saying, and I was enamored with her dance with Jesus through this subject of abandoning it all.  She writes about her fears, what was holding her back, what she was scared of letting go, and she writes about the joy that this prayer brought and the feelings of wanting to abandon it all for the costs.  I was right there with her.  I want that too.

Jennie has been asking people what is their “anything”.  What is the one thing that’s holding you back.  I tried to think of my “anything”, and friends I’m embarrassed to say my “anything” is not just one thing, it’s lots of “anythings”.  I feel as though sometimes I try so hard to control my life and hold on to everything I can grasp around me full of fear of what might happen if I let it go.  It’s as if I’m an octopus and I’m desperately trying to use all my arms to hold everything I love and desire close to me, so that God can’t touch it, because I fear so much that God just might ask me to suffer for the things I truly love.  I fear that he just might take me down a path that few people travel in this world.

I hold my kids tight for the fear of losing one of them to sickness or an accident. I hold my husband and marriage so tightly to try and persuade God to let me keep Aaron until I’m old, and we hold hands in bed one night and drift off to meet our Savior together.  I keep a tight hold on my thoughts, because what if I really shared what I think with someone and God asked me to deal with that un-forgiveness or bitterness.  Isn’t it better if I keep it tight in my heart?

My anything might just be fear.

Jennie tackles this in chapter six, and I resonated with her words in so many ways.  She says this,

“What if he lets me suffer?  What if he asks me to sacrifice.  What if none of my dreams come true?  The very thought of doing anything demands everything.  We have to face our fears.  If we believe he is real, if we believe he has an eternal heart, we have to face the fact that a God like that may mess with our temporary comfort and fictional scrapbook.”

Oh dear Lord you are ripping away my heart all over again.  I’m praying again for God to use my WHOLE life as he pleases.  That includes these precious babies he has given me and my fabulous husband.  God you are in charge.

I want to constantly remind myself of 2 Corinthians 4:17 which says, “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”  Whatever might come upon me that seems difficult or bad in my eyes is momentary and God is using it to prepare me for glory.  When I read that I want to say “YES I AM IN!  ANYTHING!!!”

What is your anything?  What are you holding on to so tightly that God is asking, begging, demanding you let go of?  Friend I want you and I to let it go.  To say to God, I will do anything.  Anything. What if we let it go? What could God do?

That video trailer brings me to tears EVERY SINGLE TIME that I watch it. Maybe because I know some of the people in it and I know their stories, or just maybe because I too want to lay it all down and know that God’s working ALL things in my life for his good, not just what I think is good. Who am I to know what is good and what is bad, when it’s all for his glory. I want to trust 100% in that statement and not hold on to what I think I have control of, because in doing that I just might miss some joy that God wants to bestow upon me. I want to give him ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

I would love for you to have a copy of Jennie’s book ANYTHING. To win one, please do one or two or three of these things. If you do more than one, leave a separate comment for each one and you get more entries.

1. Tell me your anything. What is the one thing that’s holding you back.

2. Head on over to Jennie’s facebook page and like her. Feel free to leave her a comment if you would like.

3. Visit the WHAT IS YOUR ANYTHING webpage. Read a view stories and possibly submit your own.

and if you want … tell your friends. Share on facebook and/or twitter.

Contest will end on Wed at midnight (CST) and winner will be announced on Thursday, May 10th. You must live in the US to be eligible.

CONGRATS TO ASHLEY, GINGER & JACKIE you each won a book!

Here are your random numbers:

10	25	8

Timestamp: 2012-05-10 14:32:09 UTC

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

The photo above was taken at my 30th SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY that Aaron threw for me.  One of the most epic and memorable nights of my life.  He put SO MUCH work into that party and I was very loved and appreciated that night.  Maris, Rachel, myself & Amy four years ago!

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What I mean is this … As soon as we get home from school it’s time for homework, then it’s time to do a few chores, then we probably have somewhere to go, then it’s time to play outside for a bit, then it’s time for dinner, then showers, then reading and then bed. All we did was DO and we never did any SIT. I can become very rigid in getting stuff done. I mean the truth is that there are four kids here and they are all between 4-8, so all around the same range, and I’m doing a lot redirecting, directing, disciplining, answering the same stupid question over and over again all day long. You can see how I forget to sit with them.

For me, this month of encouraging is going to be about sitting with them.  Engaging them.  Talking to them intentionally.  This actually played out two ways today.

#1.  I read to Story the book THE STORY OF ME tonight for the first time.

This book is about educating your children about sex.  (I wrote about these books before HERE)  Yes this was an educational book, but I still encouraged her in the way that we talked.  After we finished reading the book we talked about how one day she can become a mommy.  In words that she could understand we talked about how God has a husband for her and then I prayed for her and that husband that God would keep them pure for each other.  Y’all she’s four and I feel like this was a way to encourage her.  Did she understand it all?  No.  But it was real and it was her and I discussing BIG things in SMALL ways to her.

#2 Cayden is going to send both Aaron and I into a looney bin for all the arguing and talking back that he does.  This child always has to have the last word, even if it is something so silly and small.  If I tell him that I’ve been doing laundry all day long, he’ll look at me and say “well you’re not doing laundry right now, so don’t say you’ve been doing it all day”.  Y’all that is annoying to say the least!  It drives me mad.  Yes he’s saying something that is truthful, but for the love that will drive you crazy when you hear this all day long.  He also argues when he’s in trouble and if I could just get him to shut his mouth and say ‘yes sir’ his days would be better.  Mind you, this kid is P.E.R.F.E.C.T at school and would never do this to his teacher (at least I don’t think he does).

At dinner tonight it got out of control and I literally wanted to throw my entire plate of fish tacos at him, but I didn’t for two reasons.  First, I hear that it’s looked down upon in restaurants to throw food at your kids when you are at mad at them, and two I really love my fish tacos.  Anyhow, I was about to lose my cool when finally I told Cayden that I understood that he can’t help it (that’s what he always says) and that daddy and I both struggle with things to that we want to stop but we can’t.  I explained how there’s Cayden’s way and then there’s God’s way (flesh and the spirt) and sometimes even when we truly want to do God’s way, our way gets in the way and we choose what makes us happy.  As crazy as it might sound, I think he was actually understanding.  I told him that truly the only way that he would get better at watching his mouth was if God helped him, because on our own we will still do the things that please us.  I told him that he should start praying and asking God to help him.  I told him that we would pray this as well.

I felt in that moment of losing my mind with a child that always has to have the last word and I could have just told him to shut up (just kidding – I’ve never told my kids to shut up, although I have thought it about once a day) and leave me alone, that I chose a moment to encourage him in his struggle.  The truth is I have struggles too that I so desperately don’t want to do, but so many times I chose my way over God’s way.

I’m praying that this month is a challenge to be an encourager and not just a woman that runs the logistics of a house, because I can do that very well, but it will be of no lasting value to my kids.  I’m asking God to show me unique opportunities to cheer on my kids.  To show them their value, and to point them to God in this encouragement.

You joining me for this month?  Who is with me on trying to think daily on how we can cheer our kids on, and not push them down?  Come on!

Do you have a special way that you encourage and cheer your kids on?  Please share with all of us moms.  We’re all in this race together!

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